Yesterday was a terrible day. I felt completely defeated by the end of the day. It all started when my alarm didn’t go off. I woke up and bolted out of bed. I never have gotten dressed so fast in my life. I was almost two hours late to work and I’m pretty sure my boss was ready to fire me when I walked in. Then, I spilled coffee down my shirt and I had to walk around all day with a coffee stain. It was just a terrible day at work. I was completely overwhelmed with work and I just felt really down. I started to feel like this new transformation just isn’t possible and maybe I should keep working at my dead end job and not try. But I’m going to keep going and see what happens. I figure that’s better than doing nothing because I already know what would result in that.
In the evening I went to the gym. I noticed my shorts had a gaping hole in them after I was already there. There wasn’t much I could do and I didn’t want to have to leave so I just enjoyed the breeze. I used some of the weights and did some sit-ups before I decided to use a treadmill and do some jogging. I couldn’t figure out how to get the machine started so I stood there for a while pushing all the buttons. I eventually got it started and I started to walk. Once I was warmed up I switched it to a faster speed and I started to jog. Things were going good for a while but it all fell apart. As I was running, my tennis shoe went off the belt and got caught on the side of the treadmill. I tried to grab the bars but it was too late. I went down to the ground and the belt threw me off the treadmill and into the front of another treadmill that was being used by a lady. She screamed and the entire gym looked at me. Now I have two gym stories that were embarrassing. I think I might switch to another gym. Or change my name and move to another town.
Today has been an amazing day however. I woke up early enough to go for a jog. The sunrise was beautiful. I didn’t fall and I jogged in short spurts in between walking. It really gave me a nice start to the day. I ate healthy all day, I only sneaked a chocolate bar twice. I got an email that my developer has completed the app and it is ready to be released. I’m really excited to release it. I can’t wait to see how everyone reacts to it. It could be a gold mine and I could be a very rich man after it goes live. But it could be a dud and if that’s the case, I’ll move on to my next idea.
I am really enjoying having a new outlook on life. Every day is really a gift. Before Robert’s death, I never considered life to be a gift. I was actually really depressed, I just didn’t know it. I was hiding behind the bottle and I was hiding behind food. Having this new approach to life has allowed me to see life in a whole new light. Now, when I wake up in the morning, I enjoy it. I used to dread going to work but now I enjoy going. I’m still hoping that I can quit but I am enjoying it for right now.
I hope that what I am doing is right. I know that Robert would want me to live my life the right way. If the roles were reversed, I’m sure he would feel the same way. I would want him to love his life. Making all these changes is going to improve my life tremendously. I look forward to releasing the app and making a difference. I can’t wait to lose the weight and get healthy by eating better. I am nervous but excited about my trip to Ireland. All of this is making a huge impact on my happiness. It’s changing my life.